Career Decisions-Dealing with Results

Finally, the long wait for the 10th Standard results are over. I am still not sure whether it is the child or the parents who seem the most relieved. The media did not help the cause by crying wolf every other day thereby sending the impacted parties into a frenzy. To add to the confusion, we have 3 different boards which not only have a different curriculum but also evaluate the students differently. Comparing them all with the same yardstick seems unfair but that’s the system and we have to accept it and move ahead. As the results sink in, it would have left a plethora of emotional beings in its wake.

How important are these results anyway? The child is still only 15 and we do hear people commenting “No one asks my 10th Standard results in my job interview”. Don’t we see a number of examples of successful people who have not done well in their 10th Standard? Why this frenzy? I suppose, the pressure is created by the impact that it leaves behind.

The results do have an impact on the child but rather than the percentage, it is the way the parents deal with it that causes that impact.     

 

1)    Acceptance

Irrespective of the result, learn to accept it as a fact. For parents and students who were expecting a better result, it is even more important to understand that the event has already happened and nothing can be done about it except possibly hoping for a miracle through the re-valuation process. The acceptance does not mean that you put up a facade while going through an internal turmoil. Not being at peace with yourself will reflect in an unexpected outburst on your child, your family, your maid, vegetable vendor and so on. True acceptance should also mean that you are not comparing the result of your child with others. A child who goes by the name of Naresh, after seeing his results online, called his father to inform him about the same “Dad, I got 90%”. He was expecting his father to jump up in joy and congratulate him but his father’s first response was “How much did Rohit (classmate) get?” The child replied “92%”.  That response started a tirade of ‘I told you so…” and “You should have…” The poor child had never been so dejected in his life and that too after scoring 90%. This is not a response which is expected even if the child has failed. Accept the results as just another event in your child’s life. Excess euphoria or abject dejection are avoidable extremes keeping your child grounded and not bridled with the burden of expectation or a loss of self-esteem.      

 

2)    Appreciation

Celebrate the completion of a milestone and not the percentage. The declaration of the 10th Std. result is a culmination of months and (in some case) years of your child’s efforts. Every parent will have an expectation from their child but that expectation is generally based on what you want to happen without considering the capacity of the child. Irrespective of the numbers seen in the mark-sheet, I urge every parent to appreciate these efforts. There will be time available for introspection and possibly even a case for a reprimand but now is definitely not the time to do it. Again, the appreciation should not be done just as a formality. Inform your friends, relatives and other acquaintances about the result just as you would otherwise communicate an event to the outside world. Appreciate the efforts of the child and acknowledge the hard work. Leave the constructive feedback for another day. I know of Mrs. Sharma, a parent whose child got a 75% score. She congratulated her child by saying this “Congrats for completing an important milestone in your life. I am proud of you, not for the marks you secured but for growing up to be a good person. The marks don’t matter to me. I would have felt the same even if you had scored 95%”. The results may have caused dejection but the parent’s positive reaction would have triggered an ‘I should do better next time’ feeling in most children.   

 

3)    Learning

There is a learning from every life event. The 10th Std. Board exam result is no different. However, unlike the common practice of only reviewing what went wrong when the results do not meet expectations, I would suggest that every child and his/her parents should introspect and identify the learning's even when the results have met or exceeded expectations. It is equally important to know “What went right?” since that is going to provide the positive reinforcement to the child. He/she will need to appear for many exams in the future and knowing what he/she did right in the 10th Std. exam would provide him/her with the confidence and help in being better prepared to face those challenges.   

The Learning needs to be initiated by the parents a few days after the results when the initial euphoria or disappointment has died down. Have a friendly conversation with your child and ask him/her to list down all the things that went well and all the areas of improvement. You will be surprised to know that every child, irrespective of the marks scored will have a longer list of improvement areas, Teenagers at 15 understand the meaning and significance of the 10th Std. result and in most cases have made their career choices. It is the parents who still treat them as children and hence continue to make decisions on their behalf. Let the learning's come out of the child’s own expectations from himself/herself and not from the expectation of the parents.

 

4)    Career Choice

I met Mr. Iyer a couple of days ago and congratulated him on his daughter’s results. She has scored 93% in CBSE. I also knew from our earlier conversation that she was aspiring to become a Commercial Artist. I inquired about the choice of college and was surprised to get this answer “I will securing admission in an integrated course so that she starts preparing for her MH-CET”. I was surprised and asked him “I thought Pooja wanted to become a commercial artist”. Mr. Sharma responded “That was before she received her result. Since she has secured 96 in Science, we want her to pursue Engineering”.

I could only feel sorry for Pooja as I could picture another individual pursuing a career in a field which was not her original choice and living a life of subdued acceptance or unbridled frustration. Career choices should never be based on the marks secured in the 10th Standard Board exam. It should already have been narrowed down to a couple of options by the time the results are out. My blog http://ramsubrareflections.blogspot.in/2016/06/career-decisions-parents-as-facilitators.html gives suggestions on identifying the right career options. I have seen many kids like Pooja in my corporate life who were thrust into their careers by over-zealous parents. I can only keep hoping that better sense will prevail some day and children can make their own career choices.

 

5)    Choosing the College

Once the career option is narrowed down, choosing the stream becomes easier. If the child has still not been able to make up his/her mind, FYJC-Science would be the best option followed by FYJC-Commerce and Arts. In the event that the child has identified the career, the stream gets automatically selected. Choosing the college would be the next major decision. Factors like the reputation, cut-off, travel time, subjects offered, faculty needs to be taken into consideration before making a choice. With the advent of integrated courses and Bi-focal options, the spread have become wider. As with the career option, parents should facilitate this process by providing their child with the appropriate information needed to make a choice. An important criteria should be feedback received from present and past students from the short-listed colleges. However, in most streams, the real decision of the college and specialization will need to be taken post the 12th Standard through Entrance exams. Most of the degree colleges also do not have a direct entry for their junior college students and the 12th Standard results would matter. Hence, the prudent thing to do is to choose the option which prepares you better for the professional entrance exams. If this means enrolling your child to a local college as a formality while he/she attends specialized coaching classes then so be it. It’s rather unfortunate that the current education system is demeaning the very existence of junior colleges.

 

To summarize, 5 tips for dealing with your child’s result

1) Accept the result whole heartedly

2) Appreciate the fact that your child has crossed a milestone in life

3) Irrespective of the marks secured, help your child introspect and imbibe the learnings for the future challenges in life

4) Do not make their career choices based on results.

5) Choose the junior college option based on the needs of the professional courses after 12th Standard

 

Let me congratulate every child out there who have crossed the milestone of the 10th Standard and thereby has taken the first step towards a successful career.

Coach-Ram

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