Leadership Paradox#2

"If this is how you want it, I will give it to you” Neena blurted out rather unexpectedly.

She continued, “I have tried to be caring but you don’t seem to understand. All of you have been too casual about this whole project. How can you explain the huge number of bugs in production? In our meeting last month, we had discussed the possibility of atleast 2 rounds of stringent Regression and Performance testing which required all of you to be in office. But what do I see? Every other day, I would get a request for a sick leave, someone not answering the phone, having a party. What else do you expect? We have done a very shoddy job with this implementation. This will have an impact on your Performance reviews”.

Neena Sabarwal is the HOD-IT at a private bank. A very soft-spoken individual who usually comes across as warm and friendly, this outburst seemed to catch everyone by surprise.

The IT team had been facing some flak from the Management recently due to poor feedback from online Banking customers and the trolls on Social Media about the frequent breakdowns while doing an online transaction.  

Neena’s team had spent the good part of the last 6 months in a project to upgrade the functionality as well as the infrastructure of their online customer interface. The 20 strong team had been a working well together and had a good rapport with Neena. 

What was the consequence of the outburst?

2 team members put in their papers within a week. Unfortunately, they were the best performers in the team. One team member raised an issue in the Company’s grievance portal and Neena had to face a Committee instituted for addressing grievances raised by employees. Not to mention the adverse remarks in her HR file.

These reactions by team members and the company seemed too extreme based on just one outburst.

Trupti, the Head of HR and a competent authority on Human psychology reflected on this case. Here is what she found.

Neena was a very qualified professional with 20 years of experience in IT. After working in a few IT Service Organizations, she had joined the Bank a couple of years ago as the Head of IT. Her tenure had been smooth if not spectacular. Her team had addressed some of ongoing IT issues across various parts of the bank. It was Neena who had proposed the upgrade of the Customer interface more than a year ago.

When Trupti had informal conversations with some of Neena’s peers and Stakeholders, the overwhelming response was “Neena is a very friendly person, ever-smiling, always ready to listen, never says ‘No’”. Infact, Abhijit Ganguly, one of her Stakeholders even sheepishly admitted “She is a very nice person. My department had committed a few errors in following the data upload processes a few months ago but she never reported it to Management”

Trupti also ensured that she meet a couple of Neena’s team members, and the feedback she received from them was not too different. “Neena is very nice, always approachable”, they said “She allowed us to do our work without micro-managing, never admonished us for issues, never allowed fingers to be pointed at each other in meetings and never uttered a strong word of disapproval even when some team members were not seen to be putting the effort”

Trupti had a breakthrough. The key to Neena’s outburst probably lay in the last statement made by her Stakeholders and team members. For everyone, Neena was this nice caring, warm & friendly person who never disapproved of anything. Did this smell of evasiveness?

A person who is evasive will see himself/herself as kind and considerate and having done a good deed. In their perception, highlighting someone else’s faults, even if done in a professional way, may make the other person dislike them.

For them, being liked was so much better than being seen as correct.

Probably, Neena behaved in a way which ensured that people always liked her.

Why the outburst?

Here is where the paradox of Human behaviour comes to the fore.

A person who exhibits evasive behaviour generally sugar-coats his/her communications, tries to be diplomatic and tactful at all times, avoids conflict situations, avoids taking sides if forced into such a situation and tries to please everyone even if means some hardships for self.

Such a person gets into a stressful situation where this behaviour leads to his/her life or job being at stake and his/her reputation being questioned.

Importantly, when his/her basic need to be liked is getting threatened, they flip into a paradox behaviour of being Blunt.

Since this is an emotional reaction, they may not even be in control of what they are saying. It’s like telling everyone that they have taken undue advantage of his/her kind and friendly behaviour and this is their retaliation.

The paradox strangely is also true.

A person who exhibits a paradox behaviour of being blunt to the point of being seen as rude and impolite feels that there is no point in beating around the bush. This person sees himself/herself as honest and straightforward even if it means that the other person may get hurt by their behaviour.

Such a person gets into a stressful situation when his/her natural blunt behaviour gets restricted while providing feedback to a person with higher authority.

Importantly, when they feel that others are over-looking their honesty while labelling them as insensitive, they flip into a paradox behaviour of being evasive.

They completely shut themselves out. Even when people approach them, they just don’t respond. This can make others very uncomfortable and uneasy. It can create a very tense environment and destroy trust.

Being evasive or being blunt are two extreme behaviours which may be detrimental for a Leader.

What if, Trupti’s proposal to introduce a formal Leadership Assessment in the company for recognizing these paradoxical behaviours in the Leadership team members, been approved?

What if, Trupti’s proposal to also coach the Leaders on the gaps identified by this Assessment, had been taken seriously by the management?

Maybe, Leena would have become aware of her ‘Evasive’ behaviour and developed a more balanced Leadership trait of ‘Forthright Diplomacy’?

Maybe, the outburst could have been avoided

Well..Better late than never….

 

Coach-Ram