Why is everyone against me?

We live in a crowded world where interaction with people is imperative and unavoidable. It is our ability to make these interactions positive that will determine our success in almost every sphere of life. Since every interaction involves another individual apart from you, there are always more than 1 perspective or belief system at play. Every individual will be viewing the world from their own lens. Carl Rogers, a famous psychologist has said it very well 'We have as many world's as there are human beings on this planet'. Hence, expecting something from the other individuals involved in your interactions would be the greatest fallacy which can often lead to frustrations, broken relationships and unfulfilled dreams. 

You are the master of your life. You are responsible for living a life of your dreams. You are only answerable to yourself until your last breath. Infact, no one even cares how your life pans out since every individual is busy with their own. You will have the support of your parents and other people during different phases of your life but no one even comes close to caring for your life than you.

 

How do I become responsible? How do I show that I care about my own life? The answers to these questions lies in another question which you should be asking yourself after every interaction "Did I do my best to make this interaction worthwhile in the pursuit of my dreams?". 

 

There is only 1 person responsible for making every interaction positive and that is YOU. If your interactions are not happening the way you expect them to be then point the complaining finger ONLY at yourself. You need to understand soon enough that you have no control over the other individual involved in your interactions.

Every interaction we have in our personal and professional lives can be categorized as follows based on the subject and/or behaviours of individuals involved in that interaction.

 

1) Influencing: You have an influence over others - In this case, you are driving the interaction and the others choose to fall in line. 

 

2) Following: Others have an influence over you - In this case, others are driving the interaction and you choose to fall in line.

 

3) Agreeing: You and others are in complete agreement - This is a mutually acceptable WIN-WIN situation where you and the others gain

 

4) Disagreeing: You and others are not in agreement - This is a definite LOSE situation for you.

 

Spend a few moments and review your own interactions in the recent past and identify which category do they generally fall under.

 

If your interactions are nearer to the ‘Influencing’ category, you are a Leader or an Influencer. This may be because of your position or your credentials. In either case, you must ensure that you keep your pride and ego aside and take people along with you. You never know when your influence will wear out. Hence, it will be beneficial to COLLABORATE with people around you.

 

If your interactions are nearer to the ‘Following’ category, you are a Follower. Again, this may be because of your lower hierarchical position or due to your perceived notion of being inferior to others or your belief in the other individual's wisdom. This situation is fine but you need to keep checking that you are still moving in the direction you have chosen. If ‘Yes’ then you should ACCEPT the situation. If ‘No’, then this interaction is detrimental to you and hence alternatives need to be considered.

 

If your interactions are nearer to the ‘Agreeing’ category, you are already doing very well in your life. You just need to CONTINUE with your attitudes and behaviours since that is likely to be a major contributor to this situation.

 

If they are nearer to the ‘Disagreeing’ category, your life is in a mess right now. Everyone you interact with seem to be wanting to put you down. You feel that everyone is out to get you. You would be blaming every other individual except yourself. You need to seriously take charge of your life. Review every interaction that you have been in and answer the question mentioned earlier i.e. "Did I do my best to make this interaction worthwhile in the pursuit of my dreams?". Introspect on your behaviours and your beliefs that contributed to the disagreement and all the possible opportunities for an agreement which you ignored. For achieving the best outcome from such interactions, you may need to COMPROMISE since giving up on less priority items may help in at least moving forward. You may need to change your belief system. You may need to shed your ego. Very importantly, you should seek opportunities to convert the situation into a ‘Agreeing’ category or at least a ‘Following’ category.

 

You can keep complaining about everything in life for as long as you wish but nothing will change. Change will only happen when you start taking responsibility for your life. Situations will start happening in your favour only when you start answering ‘Yes’ to the question posed earlier.


 Coach-Ram

https://www.coach-ram.in

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