The Blinking Headlights

I had returned from UK a few weeks ago after a 1 year work assignment. One of the things I did during my stay there was to learn driving and acquire a driving license. Getting a driving license in Mumbai was a less arduous task and here I was brandishing my prized possession which would also double up as a proof of my identity. Having never driven in India before, it was a major transition for me but as a true Mumbaikar, I was quick to adjust.

That night, I was driving back home after a dinner party with my colleagues. I came to a small lane leading to my house and realized that it had been designated as a 'One way'  due to some road repair work which was in progress. There was just about room for one car to pass. Just as I was about to enter the lane, I could see the headlights of a car at the other end. My first reaction was to glance at the traffic sign which was directly in front of me and it clearly mentioned 'One Way'. I now saw the driver of the other car blinking the headlights. For someone more used to driving in UK, I appreciated his gesture and started driving forward. To my chagrin, I realized that the other car was also moving ahead and the driver continued to furiously blink the headlights.  In a few minutes, both our cars came to a stop near the middle part of the lane with no way forward. Before I could react, the driver of this other car got down and came towards me gesticulating angrily. I lowered my window pane.

"Are you blind?" he started in a high pitched voice which was discomforting "I have been blinking my headlights and you still kept coming"

Trying to stay calm, I replied "That's right. You blinked  your headlights and that's why I came forward"

"Have you left your brains at home? When you saw me coming, couldn't you stop?", he continued in the same tone.

A little angry now, I raised my tone as well "Mind your language. This is a one way street and you should not be coming into this lane at all"

That seemed to anger him more. "Who the hell are you? You are teaching me traffic rules, are you?

Our impetuous encounter was abruptly interrupted by the sound of a police siren. I looked behind to see a police van at the entry to the lane. Seeing the police vehicle, the other guy paused for a second and headed back to his car murmuring some expletives. I ignored him and waited for his next move. He got into his car and with a loud screeching of wheels backed off to the end of the lane. I moved ahead and chose to ignore him as I went past. I could see him waving his fists in my rear view mirror.

When I reached home, I narrated this incident to my wife. More than the fact that the guy had entered a 'No entry' lane and then was impudent enough to pick up a fight over it, what irked and amazed me was the small matter of the blinking headlights.

As I lay on my bed that night, I could not help but play back the events of the night in my head. Wasn't the behavior of the other gentleman so symptomatic of Indians in general?

We pride ourselves in our so-called culture and never shy away from taking pot-shots at the Western way of living. We typecast an act or behaviour as influenced by Western culture which means it is bad and needs to be shunned. We keep hearing the statement 'We should teach our children Indian culture'. We get agitated when a foreigner complains about our roads and Infrastructure or lack of it and treat it as an insult to our culture.

What is this 'Our culture' we keep talking about?

Is it seen when we do not make way for an ambulance? There are numerous videos on YouTube about how the culture-less foreigners immediately move to one side whenever an emergency vehicle siren is heard. Statistics suggest that about 18 lakh people die in India every year because their ambulance was struck in traffic and hence was late in reaching the hospital

Is it seen when you jump a queue at a bus-stop, at a wedding lunch buffet or better still pay for it at a place of worship?

Are we demonstrating our culture when we  bang the door on the  face of the person following you without even giving a second look? I have seen at first hand how the culture-less Europeans hold the door for you and let you pass through if they happen to reach it first.

While we are the first to protest and scream 'Racism' when Indian origin Americans are treated inappropriately, shouldn't we be called racists by the same yardstick for poking fun at blacks and stereotyping every person with Oriental features as Chinese or Nepali?

Does our culture preach atrocities against a woman for not bringing sufficient dowry, for raising her voice against injustice, for giving birth to a girl child or for just being a woman?

In every walk of life, we push, shove and even trod over others to get our share of the bounty be it the elusive seat in a bus or train or the admission form at our child's kindergarten. We care two hoots about the traffic chaos that we have caused behind us due to our overzealous need to squeeze our vehicle into non-existent spaces on the road nor do we care about the environmental hazard we are creating by dumping our industrial waste into our rivers and lakes.

Does our 'rich' culture tell us that we should try every possible means, mostly illegal, of avoiding taxes?

The greatest virtue of any culture should be to look beyond a 'I', 'me' and 'myself'. Concern for others should precede self-centricity but don't we all conveniently ignore this aspect in almost all walks of life. Do we need a Swacch Bharat abhiyan to ensure that we do not throw that chocolate wrapper on the footpath? While we don't refrain from urinating on any wall, we conveniently expect our elected representatives to miraculously change this country. Isn't it ironic then that this is the same set of people whom we ridicule and who are the central characters of our WhatsApp jokes?   

India has a revered history of rich heritage and tradition which is good but not something that we can dwell upon for the future by turning a blind eye to our shortcomings. The 'I' mentality needs to change to 'Us' and the Nawaabi tradition of 'Pehle Aap'  should pervade every aspect of our lives. Before taking any action, we should also consider its impact on others.

When I stayed in a low cost youth hostel in Europe on a trip, I was amazed at how the teenagers from the so-called culture-less Western world staying there would use the utensils in the common kitchen to make their food, wash them well after use and then wipe them dry before putting them back in the shelves. They also cleaned the kitchen sink and wiped it dry. I was left embarrassed to see a few Indian families, supposedly educated and supposedly from a place which has a better culture, making a mess of the kitchen and walking away on the sly thinking 'My job is done. Let the next person clean the place if he wants'. 

Recently, I was in UK with a few Indian friends. In a conversation with an Englishman, he mentioned the horrendous experience he had with the traffic during his last trip to India. I acknowledged the comment and tried to explain the reasons but my friends were offended with the Englishman’s comments and retorted back with comments of their own on the lack of family values and culture in UK. My dear friends, while we may feel offended by the remarks, aren't his comments so true of state of our country? We can be like the ostrich who buries it's head in the sand when it sees danger expecting that blinding itself from the danger will make the danger go away. Unfortunately, it does not. The first step to redemption is always an acceptance that there is a problem and it is only when that happens will we see a better future for this country.

I am waiting to see the day or rather night when the blinking of the car headlights will be an invitation for the approaching car to come forward. That would be the day when  the pessimistic streak in me would see a ray of optimism.


Coach Ram

https://www.coach-ram.in


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