What are we doing for our country?

“Hypocrites.. They are all hypocrites” I slam the mobile phone that I am holding in my hand, on the sofa.

“Kapil, why are you getting so excited?” my wife Anita asks from inside the kitchen as she finishes her final chores for the day.

“They will destroy what is left of this country” I continue without giving her a response “This country is going to the dogs”

“Have this ice-cream and chill” my wife thrusts the bowl of ice-cream in front of me as she sits on the sofa with a sigh of relief that the day is finally over

Ice-creams are something I cannot resist and I shift my attention from the television set onto the mouth-watering delicacy in front of me.

I had been watching the News Hour debate on Times Now, something I do almost every night. Irrespective of the topic being discussed, the debates always seem to have a familiar pattern with one political party’s representative bad-mouthing the other and the next day it would be the turn of the other spokesperson to do the same.  Having lived abroad for a few years, I have seen the professional behaviour of their politicians, the maturity of their debates and the discipline shown by the people on the street. I wonder “Why can’t we be like them?”, “Why can’t the politicians of this country be more professional and work for the good of this country?”, “When would I see a proper debate between political parties which is focussed on real issues?”

Anyway, the ice-cream has calmed my nerves and I decide to call it a day.

Next morning, I wake up with a start as I realize that the alarm did not ring or maybe I did not hear it. Either way, 8am is a pretty late start to the day which means that I cannot go to the gym again. Also, I will have to rush through my morning chores in order to reach office before 10am. I make my way to the bathroom and rush through my morning routine. I hate shaving and feel that it is an activity which is the bane of mankind. I open the tap and let the water run as I finish this most dreary of all tasks. I close the tap and move into the shower. Just as the water makes me wet, I hear my phone ringing. I let it ring and continue to enjoy the warm water as it seems to massage my body.

My wife calls out to me “It’s your boss”. 

I immediately rush out in all my glory and spend a few minutes agreeing to everything my boss has to say. I get back into the shower but find that the water which has been running while I was on the phone has turned cold by now. I curse the geyser as I get out of the bath. I have a quick breakfast of cereals and rush out of the house carrying a banana which I eat on the way to the parking lot. As I sit in the car, I throw the banana peel out and take a quick swig of my favourite pan masala before I start my car. I am now ready to fight the days’ battles.

I head out of my building onto the street.  A few metres ahead and my car started beeping. I hate these modern cars which starts beeping if the driver is not wearing the seat belt.

“Leave it to the driver to decide”, I say to myself but have to wear the seat belts in order to stop the beeping. A short drive of 200 metres brings me to the first of many traffic lights that I have to pass through before I reach my destination. I seem to be lucky today as there are only a couple of cars ahead of me. Due to some strange reason, the traffic on the LBS road also seems to be thin. I take a chance and overtake the 2 cars and jump the traffic light. I think to myself “What’s the point of waiting at the traffic light if there is no traffic anyway?”

As I get onto LBS road, a bike speeds past. I glance sideways so see a man on the bike, his hair ruffling in the wind, alongwith 2 kids. One kid is sitting on the petrol tank in the front and the other is clinging to him from behind. The kid at the back must be no more than 5 to 6 years old. I reminisce the days when my daughter would cling onto me when I would drop her to school. The sweet memory brings a smile to my face.

I continue on LBS road towards Bhandup and things start getting back to normal as the number of vehicles on the road suddenly increases. Moreover, 9am seems to be the best time of the day when the dumpers decide that they have to hit the road. I cannot fathom why the authorities cannot put a ban on these heavy vehicles getting onto the road during peak hours. As I crawl behind one of the dumpers cursing my luck, I hit the next set of speed breakers. These are the vehicles which are waiting at every gap in the divider and want to get onto the road I am in. Like in a game, I take pleasure in ensuring that I keep my car inches behind the car in front of me to prevent these vehicles from entering. I manage a score of 4 today which is reasonable.  I have always wondered at the behaviour of the drivers when they have to take a turn in the middle of the road. They turn their vehicles at an angle thereby blocking the vehicles behind them with their protruding behinds and causing the vehicles on the other side to either slow down or change lanes. I call this the ‘Ostrich mentality’ of drivers. Like an Ostrich which digs a hole in the sand below and puts its head in it when it sees danger, so do these drivers take a turn oblivious of the chaos that they have created behind them.

As I cruise along at 20 kmph, I see that the traffic in front of me has come to a halt just outside St. Xavier School. I wonder ‘Why does this have to happen today?’ as I listen to an over-zealous  Jeeturaaj speaking to a young caller on Radio Mirchi.

I wait for almost 20 seconds and the traffic is still not moving. I honk continuously in anger and keep cursing the drivers ahead of me. I am sure this jam would have been caused by a vehicle breaking down or some stupid driver wanting to take a sudden turn. I continue to honk and am supported by the cars behind me. Finally after a long wait of 5 minutes accompanied by persistent honking, the cars start moving.

However, my joy is short-lived as the traffic stops again after a few meters. As I wonder at the reason for this stoppage, I can see a few smart auto rickshaw drivers. in my rear-view mirror, cross the divider into the other side of the road and speed past. As the traffic inches ahead, I reach the next gap in the divider and make the same smart move. I speed past the long row of cars but from the other side of the road and feel really good about my decision. I dodge a few oncoming cars as I reach the next junction and will now have to perform the arduous task of getting back to the correct side of the road. This is an art in itself as every driver tries to occupy the right position to be able to prevent the other cars coming ahead while moving forward. I get into a prime position to move in but the car driver on the other side rushes into the small gap left by the vehicle ahead of him and I have to jam my brakes. 

“#*@#* ...Why can’t you wait for a few seconds and allow me in? “, I curse the driver who doesn’t even look at me.I now thrust my car ahead without waiting for the next driver to make his move and get back on the so-called correct side of the road.

The slow movement of traffic does provide one advantage. I am able to check my WhatsApp messages and my mails. The honking from behind tells me that the car ahead of me has moved a few inches and I look up from my mobile phone and move ahead. I always ensure that I take the lane next to the divider so that I don’t have to worry about traffic atleast on one side and that’s what I have done today as well. As I wait at the Gandhi Nagar signal, I take the opportunity to spit out the pan masala in my mouth. As I open the door, my head is almost hit by a biker who has managed to squeeze into the small gap between my car and the divider. I spit the pan masala out and am about the give a mouthful of abuses to the biker but the lights have turned green and he speeds away.

Almost 40 minutes after I have left home, I finally turn off LBS road towards Powai. As I negotiate the traffic coming from the flyover, my phone starts ringing. I glance at the phone and see the name of a Mr Rao, a senior executive of my company.

“What does he want now?” I wonder as I pick up the phone.

“Hi Kapil. Good morning”

I hope it will remain a good morning as I quickly respond “Hello Mr Rao. Good morning”

“Kapil, I hope the Sterling Chemicals proposal will go out today”, Mr Rao enquires

“Yes Mr Rao. I will be doing a final review and will send it out by lunch time” I respond as I jam my brakes suddenly to avoid hitting a motorcycle who has strayed into my lane.

“That’s good. This is a very prestigious company and we need this order” Mr Rao continues but I hardly hear him as some pedestrians cross the road in front of my car and I blow my horn in anger.

Thankfully Mr Rao ends the conversation.

 “That’s fine Kapil. I will wait for your update” and hangs up.

I reach a pedestrian crossing and have to slow down as the lights are red. I look ahead and see there are no traffic policemen ahead so I continue without stopping while avoiding a few pedestrians. “A couple of minutes saved”, I say to myself.

As I drive past Powai lake and under a couple of pedestrian over-bridges, I slow down a few more times to allow pedestrians who are crossing the road. I sarcastically shake my head as I see few more crores of our tax payer money going down the drain or in this case up in the air.

Finally, after a hour’s drive during which time I have cursed many drivers, driven on either side of the road, avoided a few head-on and side-on collisions, responded to a few WhatsApp messages and mails, answered a phone call, listened to a few chart busters, almost knocked off a few pedestrians not to speak of my head getting knocked off and probably added a few ounces of stress, I finally reach my office. I heave a sigh of relief as I park my car and then suddenly realize that my day is actually just beginning.

Another hectic day in the office and it’s time to shut shop. The drive back from office is very similar to my morning journey and I reach home at 8pm after spending what seemed like an entire life on the road. A nice home cooked dinner and it’s time to put my feet up in front of the television.

Today’s News Hour debate is about the performance of the Government or rather the lack of it, according to the moderator.

As a law abiding citizen of this country, I feel let down and call out to my wife in a sarcastic tone “Anita, look at what the Government is doing for the country'

Coach Ram

https://www.coach-ram.in