Don't let your habits determine your choices

It is said that we are a sum-total of our habits.

 

We have a habit of waking up at a particular time every day, following a specific morning routine, doing similar set of tasks during the day, eating our meals in a typical way and even ending our day with a set of routine tasks.

Did you visualize your normal day as you were reading this?

When we do a particular thing in the same way repeatedly, and derive some kind of instant pleasure from it, it becomes a habit. Once something becomes a habit, we can do that thing even without being prompted to do it and without being consciously aware. 

Infact, after a while, we may not even derive the same pleasure from it, but we still keep doing it. 

This is because our brain likes shortcuts which helps it to conserve energy. In any situation, the brain has to expend energy to make a conscious choice. Once a habit is formed, it becomes an unconscious action in that situation. The brain does not require a lot of energy to just repeat it. 

Forming habits is a way of conserving energy. 

Once a habit a formed, changing it will require the brain to expend a lot of extra energy and hence it will always find ways to avoid the change.  

I have a habit of sleeping until 8am. I know that waking up early will give me time to exercise but sleeping late gives me an instant gratification and waking up early is uncomfortable. So even if I set the alarm for 6am, my brain gives me many reasons why I should continue to sleep and soon enough I shut the alarm.

 

If I drive to work by the same route every day for many days, following that route becomes a habit. I may be able to drive through this route even while I am immersed in my thoughts or while attending an intense conference call (I am sure you have experienced this). This means I am engaging my brain less. If someone tells me there is another route which may be faster, I still find reasons to avoid it since the change will require more effort.   

If I smoke a cigarette for conforming to my group once, I get the instant gratification of being accepted in the group. I do it a few more times and slowly it will become a habit. I will now want to smoke a cigarette even when I am not with my group and therefore do not get the acceptance for which I started smoking in the first place.

All these are relatable examples and many among you would have experienced them at some time or the other.  

What if I tell you that there are other habits that we have which we are not even aware of?

Our response to a traffic jam, our interactions with different colleagues, the way we go about with our cooking, the way we eat our food (I need something sweet to end my meal :)) exercising or avoiding it, our initial response to an email...Well, this list can go on and on.

In short, repeating the first line of this blog: we are a sum-total of our habits.

   

Every moment of our life, we are required to make a choice and our choices determine our destiny.

However, so many of our choices are made as a matter of habit that we are not giving ourselves a fair chance to create the destiny that we so desire.

 

Let us give ourselves a fair chance by being more in control of our choices. To make this happen, we have to be more aware of the habits which are very comfortable and giving us pleasure in the short term but not serving us well for the long term and coming in the way of our goal achievement. We have to make a concerted effort to replace these habits with more empowering one's which support our goal achievement.

CHANGING HABITS

The steps to habit change are:

AWARENESS >> ACCEPTANCE >> ASPIRATION >> ACTION >> APPLICATION

A. AWARENESS

If you are not achieving your goals, if you are not happy with the way your career, health, finances etc., there is a good chance that the root cause is in some habits which are holding you down. With some introspection or with the help of a Coach, you can identify these self-depreciating habits

B. ACCEPTANCE

Having identified habits which are hold you down, become more observant about when you employ these habits. What are the triggers? And in the process, you will reach a level of acceptance that these are indeed the habits which are holding you down. 

Change in any aspect of life requires a level of acceptance.

C. ASPIRATION

If these habits are holding you down, what would you ideally want to change. Remember, your brain will 

D. ACTION

Its Action time now!!!

The bad news is that there is no magic formula for this, but the good news is that instilling new habits this can achieved just by doing small things but doing them consistently.

  

Small, consistent changes can lead to remarkable results over time thanks to the compounding effect.

The Compounding Effect

This is the same principle that applies to compound interest, where small amounts of money can grow into large sums over time.

Example of Compounding

To illustrate how compounding works, suppose $10,000 is held in an account that pays 5% interest annually. After the first year or compounding period, the total in the account has risen to $10,500 (Principal: $10000+Interest: $500). In year two, the account realizes 5% growth on both the original principal and the $500 of first-year interest, resulting in a second-year gain of $525 and a balance of $11,025.

The same principle applies for habits. When you make a small change to your habits and stick with it, that change will compound over time and have a big impact on your life.

Example: If you decide to read for 10 minutes every day, that might not seem like much. But if you do it consistently for a year, you will have read for 3650 minutes. That's around 60 hours!

The compounding effect is a powerful force. It can help you achieve your goals if you are patient and consistent. But it can also work against you if you make small changes that are not in line with your goals.

Example: If you decide to eat one unhealthy snack every day, that might not seem like much. But if you do it consistently for a year, you will have eaten over 365 unhealthy snacks. That's a lot of unhealthy food!

This is an illustration from the book 'Atomic Habits' by James Clear which suggests that making a 1% change every day can lead to a 37% improvement by the end of the year. And if you don't do anything, you are actually becoming 1% worse every day which means you will be 3% worse than what you were at the start of the year.

Ensuring consistency through Discipline

We all have bad habits that we want to change. We start with a lot of enthusiasm but fall flat sooner rather than later. So, how do we ensure consistency. The key to being consistent is discipline.

Discipline is explaining to your brain every day that you need to sacrifice some immediate pleasure to receive greater rewards in the future.

James Clear in his book 'Atomic Habits' talks about 3 ways in which individuals can bring in this discipline.

Example: I am overweight and need to exercise and control my diet. However, I have a habit of binge-watching Netflix every night and am unable to wake up in time for my exercises. I also have the habit of having a sweet after every meal. 

i. Change actions: I stop my Netflix subscription and join a diet plan. 

    This may work for a few days with my initial enthusiasm and some level of determination.          But there will be a cheat day soon followed by another and very soon I get back to my old 

    habits since the change I have initiated is external. Nothing has changed internally. The 

    effort I am taking is not giving me any pleasure and therefore the instant pleasure that I  

    was getting from Netflix and the sweet makes my brain find excuses to avoid the efforts.  

    I keep telling myself 'I have to become healthy'

ii. Change Behaviour: I convince myself that good health is a priority. 

   I decide to read a book before I hit the bed every night. I keep a box of dry fruits in my   

   drawer which can replace the road-side snack I was having earlier. I have constant 

   conversations with self which starts creating an internal shift. The change in behaviour 

   provides me with a sense of achievement and satisfaction which outweighs the instant 

   pleasure I was getting from my old habits.  

   This attempt at changing my habits tend to last longer but still requires a high level of 

   motivation to resist the temptations. 

   I keep telling myself 'I have to follow the new plan to become healthy'

iii. Change Identity: I start instilling a belief about my identity being that of someone for whom 

     good health is non-negotiable. I tell myself and people around me 'I am a healthy person'. 

     The more I tell people, more the belief gets stronger.

     At 10pm when I would otherwise switch on Netflix, I now pause and consider the choices. 

     "What would be a healthy person do now?" Maybe, go to bed so that I can rise early and 

     go for a walk. When the meal ends, I now pause and consider the choices. "What would 

     be a healthy person do now?". Maybe, have a mouth freshener and walk away from the 

     dining table. More I will be in alignment with my identity, the more I feel at ease. This is 

     long-lasting since the change is happening at the belief level.

     My belief about self is not about a person who is trying to change some habits to 

     become healthy but of a person who is healthy 

     

Habits are a reflection of our identity. If we believe that we are the type of person who reads, then we are more likely to read. And if we believe that we are the type of person who exercises, then we are more likely to exercise.

A smoker trying to quit will refuse a cigarette by saying "No, thank you! I am trying to quit smoking" whereas a smoker building a new identity will say "No thank you! I am not a smoker"

So, how do we create a new identity? 

We focus on three things:

• Become aware of your current identity. What do you believe about yourself? What are your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors?
• Choose the identity you want to have. What kind of person do you want to be? What are your values? What are your goals?
• Act in a way that is consistent with your desired identity. This means taking small, consistent actions that support your new identity.

If you focus on these three things, you will start to create a new identity for yourself. And as your identity changes, your habits will change as well.

Here are some additional tips for creating a new identity:

• Surround yourself with people who support your new identity. The people we spend time with have a big impact on our habits and our identity. So, make sure to surround yourself with people who support the changes you are trying to make.
• Celebrate your successes. When you take action that is consistent with your desired identity, take some time to celebrate your success. This will help you stay motivated and on track.
• Don't be afraid to fail. Everyone fails sometimes. But if you keep taking action, you will eventually succeed. So, don't be afraid to fail. Just learn from your mistakes and keep moving forward.

Tips to ensure consistency

A. Make it obvious - Make your desired habits as easy to start as possible. The more obvious your habits are, the more likely you are to do them.

B. Make it attractive - Make your desired habits as enjoyable to start and rewarding to complete as possible. The more attractive your habits are, the more likely you are to do them.

C. Make it easy - Reducing the barriers to starting your habit and making it as convenient as possible. The easier your habits are, the more likely you are to do them.

D. Make it satisfying - Finding a way to reward yourself for completing your habit and making sure that you feel good about yourself after you do it. The more satisfying your habits are, the more likely you are to do them again in the future.

A. Make it obvious: There are a few things you can do to make your habits more obvious: Set up a cue. A cue is a trigger that tells your brain to start your habit. For example, if you want to start a habit of running, you could set up a cue by putting your running shoes next to your bed. When you see your running shoes, it will remind you to go for a run. Not having a cue i.e. running shoes in a visible location helps your brain come up with excuses. Put your cue in a convenient location. The more convenient it is to start your habit, the more likely you are to do it. For example, if you want to start a habit of reading, you could put a book by your bed. This way, you can read just before going to sleep. Else, you may feel the desire to read but not having a book readily available can make you check your mobile phone instead since it is more easily available.   Make it easy to get started. If your habit is too difficult to start, you are less likely to do it. For example, if you want to start a habit of writing, you could start by writing for just 10 minutes each day. This way, you can get started without feeling overwhelmed. You may diligently create a plan to spend 1 hour every day in writing but not finding a slot of 1 hour can lead to avoiding the activity. B. Make it attractive There are a few things you can do to make your habits more attractive: Associate your habit with something you enjoy. For example, if you want to start a habit of exercising, you could listen to your favorite music while you work out. This will make your workout more enjoyable and help you stay motivated. Else, you may get bored and find excuses to do some other interesting activity instead. Find a way to reward yourself for completing your habit. This could be anything from watching your favorite TV show to eating a small treat. Rewarding yourself will help you associate your habit with positive feelings and make you more likely to do it again in the future. The activity itself may not be enjoyable but the reward for completing it will make it attractive. Make your habit visual. This could mean putting up a poster of your goal or wearing a bracelet that reminds you of your habit. Seeing your habits will help you stay focused and motivated. This is especially true during the initial days of changing a habit when you may genuinely forget to perform the new activity.  C. Make it easy There are a few things you can do to make your habits easier: Start small. Don't try to do too much at once. Start with a small habit that you can easily stick with. Once you have mastered that habit, you can gradually add more habits to your routine. Don't focus on the 10 kg you need to reduce during the year. Rather, set a smaller target of becoming 1 kg lighter in the next 30 days.  Break down your habit into smaller steps. This will make it seem less daunting and more achievable. For example, if you want to start a habit of running, you could break it down into smaller steps, such as walking for 10 minutes each day, then gradually increasing the amount of time you walk each day. Every new habit is a collection of a few steps. By focusing on the habit without an eye on these steps can make you falter. To develop the habit of reading, the steps include deciding the book to read, buying the book, making it readily available, blocking a time slot for reading. Skipping any of these steps may come in the way of instilling the habit. Remove obstacles. What are the things that are making it difficult for you to start your habit? Once you know what they are, you can start to remove them. For example, if you want to start a habit of reading, you could remove distractions by turning off your phone and closing your email. While this may seem obvious, we may not make the effort to remove the obstacles, rather fall prey to it and avoid the habit. We avoid exercise by citing reasons like travel time, work pressure etc. While the reasons may be genuine, their priority will always be lower than your health.   D. Make it satisfying Here are some additional tips for making your habits more satisfying: Find a mentor or accountability partner. Having someone to support you and hold you accountable can make a big difference in your success. Find a friend, family member, or coach with whom you can share your efforts and who will appreciate you for your efforts. Without this support, you may wonder why you are putting all these efforts Track your progress. Tracking your progress can help you see how far you have come and stay motivated. There are many different ways to track your progress, such as using a habit tracker app or keeping a journal. Working towards a goal is a good motivator for the brain and achievement of a goal can release dopamine which increases the motivation. Make it enjoyable. The new habit will require effort and can make you uncomfortable, especially during the early days. Identify ways to make it enjoyable. The enjoyment can override the discomfort. If you want to start working out, buy some nice and comfortable tracksuits which look good on you. Post pictures on social media after a workout, the likes and comments can make this habit enjoyable. Not making uncomfortable habits enjoyable can make you avoid it.  The Four Laws of Behavior Change are a simple but powerful framework for changing your habits. By following these laws, you can make it easier to start and stick with your desired habits. Coach Ram This blog is inspired by the book 'Atomic Habits' by James Clear and includes my observations and experiences as a Coach